Dagens vits...

[jan magnus n634]

nu skal vi se, sa blinde sarah

[EdHunter N815]

nu skal vi se, sa blinde sarah

Den var dårlig den...

[Myrt N610]

nu skal vi se, sa blinde sarah

Litt i samme bane.

Appelsin sa han, så bannan....

[jan magnus n634]

poteter selger de ikke, men stangselleri..

komigjen,komigjen

[jan magnus n634]

-(gutt til jente): Håper du har full kasko, for du laget nemlig en stor bulk i buksa mi

[Henrik N449]

-(gutt til jente): Håper du har full kasko, for du laget nemlig en stor bulk i buksa mi

-(gutt til jente): Kom her og sett deg på fanget mitt jenta mi, så skal vi se hva som dukker opp

[Joachim N370]

Nei, huff og huff! Hva er det dere sier, gutter?!?

[jan magnus n634]

svineri ass,,haha

[Paradigm N558]

eklinger.. tenker dere bare på sex eller?

[turban]

En liten gutt var ute og syklet og møtte en ridende politi.

- Har du fått ny sykkel av nissen til jul du eller, spør politimannen.
- Ja, svarer gutten stolt.
- Jeg må nok gi deg en bot. Det skal være lykt på sykkelen, så du får si det til nissen, sier politimannen på spøk.
- Har du fått hest av nissen til jul du da, spør gutten.
- Ja, ja, sier politimannen og ler.
- Ja, da kan du hilse nissen og si at kukken skal henge under, ikke sitte oppå...............

[ScaabN451]

Flere dårlige her: Han kasta eplet i pæra på`n så bannan

Det var en som spurte dvergen om han spilte kort? Nei han var født sånn.

Spar pusten...du trenger den til å blåse opp dama di.

Holder man aldri kjeft på den planeten du kommer fra?

Hvem av de syv dvergene er du?

Hva er det som har fire bein og en arm? en tilfreds pitbull.

[ArntR N315]

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into

Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I

sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Historia er ikke sann, men moro å lese..

[Kristine]

En kar hadde en snurrebass som var på hele 50 cm! Han var rimelig stolt av den, men problemene meldte seg da han ble mer aktiv med det annet kjønn. Det var nesten ikke en kvinne som torde å gå til sengs med ham.

Men så ble det ham fortalt at ute i skogen skulle det være en liten alv som kunne løse problemet. Hvis man fikk alven til å si nei, ville størrelsen minske med 10 cm. Mannen syntes dette hørtes helt sykt ut, men i fortvilelsen ville han prøve alt.
Vel ute i skogen treffer han alven.
- Vil du gifte deg med meg, spurte mannen.
- Nei!

Og dermed var snurrebassen 10 cm kortere.
Dette var bra, men jeg kunne tenke meg enda 10 cm mindre tenkte mannen og tok en tur til.
Det samme skjedde.

Men 30 cm var også mye, så han tok en tur til for å få den ned til 20 cm. Det ville være bra, tenkte han...
Det samme spørsmålet ble stilt, men nå ble alven sint og skrek:
- Nei! Nei! Nei!

[Paradigm N558]

hva er det med jenter og penisstørrelse?
forstår de ikke at 7 cm holder i laaange baner?

So this guy walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $500 that I can pee into a shot glass from 30 feet away, and not get any outside the glass." The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $500, so he agrees. They get out a shot glass, the bartender paces off 30 feet, and the contest begins. The man pees all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $500, huh?" The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $200 apiece that I could come in here and pee all over the bar."

[Kristine]

hva er det med jenter og penisstørrelse?
forstår de ikke at 7 cm holder i laaange baner?

Og speileggpupper er helt OK også da?;)